It's about grief and failure.
Grief defined as a negative emotion arises when we are forced to let go something really close in our life, whether it is someone we really love, business venture, or simply our pet, shortly, something or someone deemed to be important in our life. Yes, it is related to failure, something we lost, it is something we cannot reach at some point in life when at the time we're supposed to be there.
Ever felt one? For sure I have, we're all human anyway. It was hurtful, it put us down, it was blurry and I was losing my direction.
Well, see it this way, Thomas Alpha Ed found those things through hundreds of failure, Abe Lincoln went through dozens of failure before he made himself one of the best president in history, and one more, Alex Fleming found penicillin through failures that dozens people before also had.
Human are made to be resilient, and creative. We're not supposed to stuck in our grievance, just reflect, think creatively, and move on. Easier said than done, I know.
The next question, should we put ourselves in failure's shoe? The answer is no, we should strive for excellence in our things, in our strength, to reach out our mission. The problem is, let me warn you now, failures and grievance are layed ahead. It's always in our way, and don't let ourselves be those stones, we're supposed to be the one who get rid of it and move on! Think creatively to check the sidelines!
Sabtu, 09 April 2011
Senin, 04 April 2011
30's reading #2
Steve Jobs once said that we can't connect the dots forward, it's backwards.
Steve was connecting the dots of himself that was following his calling to enter calligraphy school, after he left the previous education at Reed University.
What am I going to talk here is, was it a drill? That we just do whatever we're supposed to do? or should we follow the sound of our heart? and go through the way that we look as the easiest, fun, and effortless way to bridge us to our dreams, to be something that we see ourselves in the future?
The answer is, I don't know, I don't know where's the front line between a drill, and a junk in my life. Maybe, we have to follow what our destiny has offered us, to be drowned in what our parents, communities, religion and friends say, since maybe later we can connect the dots. However, maybe we also have to just go with our hand on our heart and says, I'm gonna do what I feel like I'm supposed to do. My take is, both ways, commit yourself into it!
There is no point of being half-hearted. Ever heard the story of a carpenter who thought the he was not meant to be one? Here ..."What house are you building?"
My point is, all of us, have the choice on how we're gonna see our past in the future, by doing something we know we would not regret. The time to build the future is a gift to us, that's why it's called a "present".
Steve was connecting the dots of himself that was following his calling to enter calligraphy school, after he left the previous education at Reed University.
What am I going to talk here is, was it a drill? That we just do whatever we're supposed to do? or should we follow the sound of our heart? and go through the way that we look as the easiest, fun, and effortless way to bridge us to our dreams, to be something that we see ourselves in the future?
The answer is, I don't know, I don't know where's the front line between a drill, and a junk in my life. Maybe, we have to follow what our destiny has offered us, to be drowned in what our parents, communities, religion and friends say, since maybe later we can connect the dots. However, maybe we also have to just go with our hand on our heart and says, I'm gonna do what I feel like I'm supposed to do. My take is, both ways, commit yourself into it!
There is no point of being half-hearted. Ever heard the story of a carpenter who thought the he was not meant to be one? Here ..."What house are you building?"
My point is, all of us, have the choice on how we're gonna see our past in the future, by doing something we know we would not regret. The time to build the future is a gift to us, that's why it's called a "present".
Jumat, 01 April 2011
30's reading #1
"when the workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me; whereupon i rose up with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in my life. But the noise and astonishment of the people, at seeing me rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left leg were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of walking backwards and forwards in semicircle, but, being fixed within four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my full length in the temple"
Gulliver's Travel, Jonathan Swift
We were all born free, correct. And our freedom is limited by others freedom. Our freedom to singing out loud are limited by the need of our roommate to study for exam. See?
Here's another, it's not just all that. We're all tied up by our education system, by our social believe, by norm, by religion. We are tied up by what people want, what we think God wants, and what we think our mind wants?
Until when? Until we follow what our heart says. Sounds hard, true, but all you have to do is listen to the call, the dharma, the Din, listen to the God in your heart. We need to find our true direction!
Then, the how. We simply need to track back our life, and find something when we feel effortless doing it, when we feel we lost our consciousness in doing it, when we feel we're good and divinely satisfied with the result. we don't need to think why, just listen and enjoy!
We dont wanna be tied up, coz it wont bring us to our excellency!
Sabtu, 19 Maret 2011
I Love The Way You Love Me (Niqisfreax)
this is trial, i guess i can't copy paste the link and post it here, it has to be from youtube itself.
Minggu, 14 November 2010
So, what's next?
Hi N,
It's been a long time isn't it?
I'll go straight to the point, it's been a crazy months of being jobless, the 1st week was fine, 2nd lost I started shivering in doubt, and 3rd week I fell into emotional recklessness, sh*t. I was almost cry on the class, since the video showed was really related to what I felt at that time, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I was almost cry here. Week 4th, I started to build up job-searching again which is not stopping until now. There's still more going on in this matter, it's getting better somehow, lets skip that first.
The main point I wanna tell is I fell challenged right now, since one of my friend asked me to talk about leadership in front of youngster, 14-15 years old. I think it would be easier to talk in front of undergraduate students compared to this age-group. I can't generalize, I know, but this is what I think bout them. They're more assertive than my age-group, they're more informed bout the world, on the other side they're more ignorant bout what's not interesting in them. Recklessly is one word that I can use to describe this kind of group-age I guess, the think that they are always right, they are invisible, and they can do whatever they want to everyone.
Perhaps I'm wrong, hopefully I'm wrong. Let's move the concern, now, I know I can't talk about the Burma democratic leader who was just released, I can't talk bout how Obama defensed his health care policy, I can't talk how shitty Proton management is, I can't talk bout local underground music scene and push them to their back that they know nothin bout music until they know their local talented scenes, I guess the safest way is to tell bout lullaby...or maybe my own experience during my undergraduate time? or maybe my music career, hmm, no, they'll ignore that until I got an album at least. Yes, lullaby, or super famous leaders (fyi, Gandhi is not famous amongst youth in India, do u believe that?).
So, famous leaders, lullaby, what else? music again? I think I'll always fall into that pitfall, what if I'm talking about how music help me get through my hell-life? sounds interesting isnt't it?
Famous leader, who, what are we gonna talk about? engagement or not? I'm confused. The easiest way, let them spit out their favorite, and spend sometime questioning why do they spit that names, that will take 5 mins I guess, then looking the similarities for those favorite leaders of them, but that sounds cheesy, everybody's doing that. What about then spitting out MY favorite, and the story of him? on the other hand, it's story, not just facts that move almost everybody's ass to change their life right? who's story then? I got several names on my head, Obama, Mandela, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King and for sure, Muhammad SAW.
I don't wanna scare them with religiosity, I'm not a religious person anyway, and I don't think Muhammad is even He's perceived as one. Obama is current, I can find the info easily. Owh, this is what really stuck in my mind, the story of Martin Luther King Jr. When he called his staff and said that the one that hindrance their performance is died today, they went into a room, and came out in a pale face, but somehow there's proud and faith on those faces. (ask me if u wanna know the story). That will at least spend another 10 mins if I'm doing a bad job in story telling.
Lullaby, something conceptual, familiar with these young minds, i don't think they read "Ping", it's one of the best story book I've ever read. Rapunzel? kh..too childish, what about the robot in the story "The Wizard of Oz", since last night we've been talking bout robot in my band song-writing session, which was not that productive, but we should've learn a lot. I can find out bout that too. Then preparing myself for the virtues of the story, then let them spit out theirs before mine, that will take bout 10 mins.
The last one, my story, I really feel confused, I don't wanna look corny. I started learning music since junior high school, but went swim into it during high school, where the turbulent was. It was suck. I held and study guitar again seriously back when I was in my 2nd year of my undergraduate, and several friends told me I was freak about it. So, vocal since high school, 2nd year, and guitar since 2nd year of undergraduate. In total it's about 7 years until the point I'm at right now, which is a kind of slow. The virtues I want to talk about is about perseverance, having a faith in yourself, and being exposed to the world to understand why do we have to respect other, why do we have to believe that basically drama movie is full of bullshit, and why do we have to be honest and grateful to ourselves. I think that will spend lots of time, bout 20 mins, so let that be the spare.
Thanks N, u helped.
Next posting will be more concrete I guess
(Sadly, I don't have WIOI time no more, Batai Hostel Room M19, 1.09am my laptop time)
It's been a long time isn't it?
I'll go straight to the point, it's been a crazy months of being jobless, the 1st week was fine, 2nd lost I started shivering in doubt, and 3rd week I fell into emotional recklessness, sh*t. I was almost cry on the class, since the video showed was really related to what I felt at that time, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I was almost cry here. Week 4th, I started to build up job-searching again which is not stopping until now. There's still more going on in this matter, it's getting better somehow, lets skip that first.
The main point I wanna tell is I fell challenged right now, since one of my friend asked me to talk about leadership in front of youngster, 14-15 years old. I think it would be easier to talk in front of undergraduate students compared to this age-group. I can't generalize, I know, but this is what I think bout them. They're more assertive than my age-group, they're more informed bout the world, on the other side they're more ignorant bout what's not interesting in them. Recklessly is one word that I can use to describe this kind of group-age I guess, the think that they are always right, they are invisible, and they can do whatever they want to everyone.
Perhaps I'm wrong, hopefully I'm wrong. Let's move the concern, now, I know I can't talk about the Burma democratic leader who was just released, I can't talk bout how Obama defensed his health care policy, I can't talk how shitty Proton management is, I can't talk bout local underground music scene and push them to their back that they know nothin bout music until they know their local talented scenes, I guess the safest way is to tell bout lullaby...or maybe my own experience during my undergraduate time? or maybe my music career, hmm, no, they'll ignore that until I got an album at least. Yes, lullaby, or super famous leaders (fyi, Gandhi is not famous amongst youth in India, do u believe that?).
So, famous leaders, lullaby, what else? music again? I think I'll always fall into that pitfall, what if I'm talking about how music help me get through my hell-life? sounds interesting isnt't it?
Famous leader, who, what are we gonna talk about? engagement or not? I'm confused. The easiest way, let them spit out their favorite, and spend sometime questioning why do they spit that names, that will take 5 mins I guess, then looking the similarities for those favorite leaders of them, but that sounds cheesy, everybody's doing that. What about then spitting out MY favorite, and the story of him? on the other hand, it's story, not just facts that move almost everybody's ass to change their life right? who's story then? I got several names on my head, Obama, Mandela, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King and for sure, Muhammad SAW.
I don't wanna scare them with religiosity, I'm not a religious person anyway, and I don't think Muhammad is even He's perceived as one. Obama is current, I can find the info easily. Owh, this is what really stuck in my mind, the story of Martin Luther King Jr. When he called his staff and said that the one that hindrance their performance is died today, they went into a room, and came out in a pale face, but somehow there's proud and faith on those faces. (ask me if u wanna know the story). That will at least spend another 10 mins if I'm doing a bad job in story telling.
Lullaby, something conceptual, familiar with these young minds, i don't think they read "Ping", it's one of the best story book I've ever read. Rapunzel? kh..too childish, what about the robot in the story "The Wizard of Oz", since last night we've been talking bout robot in my band song-writing session, which was not that productive, but we should've learn a lot. I can find out bout that too. Then preparing myself for the virtues of the story, then let them spit out theirs before mine, that will take bout 10 mins.
The last one, my story, I really feel confused, I don't wanna look corny. I started learning music since junior high school, but went swim into it during high school, where the turbulent was. It was suck. I held and study guitar again seriously back when I was in my 2nd year of my undergraduate, and several friends told me I was freak about it. So, vocal since high school, 2nd year, and guitar since 2nd year of undergraduate. In total it's about 7 years until the point I'm at right now, which is a kind of slow. The virtues I want to talk about is about perseverance, having a faith in yourself, and being exposed to the world to understand why do we have to respect other, why do we have to believe that basically drama movie is full of bullshit, and why do we have to be honest and grateful to ourselves. I think that will spend lots of time, bout 20 mins, so let that be the spare.
Thanks N, u helped.
Next posting will be more concrete I guess
(Sadly, I don't have WIOI time no more, Batai Hostel Room M19, 1.09am my laptop time)
Sabtu, 08 Mei 2010
Class' M n A Insight
Hi again N, this is the second one this month ha?
I got a couple things to be written here, class matter la.
First, I do realize that none of my group member are full time student, which makes it a lil difficult in one side, and easier on the other side. The hard part, we don't have any member that has a big amount of time to help us with the material, the one who can read everything given, and give a suggestion to other member on which one is relevant to the question. The lifter side is they have knowledge and experience which for sure enrich the group.
Second, none of them are round talker, I'm sorry, this is my phrase for people who likes to talk rounding around the bushes, spending each team member time just to listen bullshit. GREAAATTT TEEAAAMMM!!! (I'm sorry people, if I were too pushy). They own their expertise, and able to articulate that. To be honest, the 2nd best group I've ever had.
Second, lemme talk about another class member, this guy, had been in my group for twice, lucky he isn't this time. He's the round talker. That's one fact, another fact that I just realize last night, was he loves to talk things that was none of his area of expertise, or having a knowledge about that. I showed him the video of Owl City, and I told him that this guy made his song alone in the garage, all alone. As a musician for sure I know how difficult recording, mixing, and mastering music are. Knowledge never enough for this thing, "flat ear" that works for concert doesn't really apply in this area, you have to feel it. I won't go to any technical stuff, to make the story short, IT IS HARD. And he said that everybody can pack their stuff in their garage, yeah, what a moron, that I think can't even draw C chord.
Another guy, the talk lover, that always say that "I'm a ....." I won't publish, too straight forward for you reader. What I'm trying to say here is, human arrogance is the sign of imbeciles. Do you know why? This is earth, please, you have to prove yourself everyday, it was such a shallow statement to make people buy what are you saying, again, imbecile. You're not stepping out of your door and saying "I'm a trainer (oops)", or "I'm a doctor", or "I'm a professor" and you expect to make people look high for you. Put your hand on your chest and be honest to the world, it's not your title that makes you who you are, IT'S YOURSELF MOROON! It's what have you done for others, it's what you have given to the rest of your team.
I know this is not easy, we always want people look high to ourselves, this is normal. Especially for man. However, that is not the way to make it, prove yourself, in every aspect of life, it's called "far transfer" (Dr. Mohan term) or "competency fluidity" (mine), which means the compentencies that make you an expert in your field are supposed to be able to generate more expert behaviors on the other field of your life. I have to admit, sometimes I did it too, and at least i want to press it down, not to show my imbeciles off to the people.
Lucky, none of my member are like those two guys. I'll be sooo depressed to deal with these kind of people. I have no patience to spend my time listening bullshit and arrogance. just like Alexander Pope said "Sure of their qualities and demanding praise, more go to ruined fortunes than are raised."
Owh, the last thing, I don't believe in internal or external locus of control. All you do, are to make yourself deserve to the luckiness that shared on earth and every part of the world.
Thanks,
Niqi.
I got a couple things to be written here, class matter la.
First, I do realize that none of my group member are full time student, which makes it a lil difficult in one side, and easier on the other side. The hard part, we don't have any member that has a big amount of time to help us with the material, the one who can read everything given, and give a suggestion to other member on which one is relevant to the question. The lifter side is they have knowledge and experience which for sure enrich the group.
Second, none of them are round talker, I'm sorry, this is my phrase for people who likes to talk rounding around the bushes, spending each team member time just to listen bullshit. GREAAATTT TEEAAAMMM!!! (I'm sorry people, if I were too pushy). They own their expertise, and able to articulate that. To be honest, the 2nd best group I've ever had.
Second, lemme talk about another class member, this guy, had been in my group for twice, lucky he isn't this time. He's the round talker. That's one fact, another fact that I just realize last night, was he loves to talk things that was none of his area of expertise, or having a knowledge about that. I showed him the video of Owl City, and I told him that this guy made his song alone in the garage, all alone. As a musician for sure I know how difficult recording, mixing, and mastering music are. Knowledge never enough for this thing, "flat ear" that works for concert doesn't really apply in this area, you have to feel it. I won't go to any technical stuff, to make the story short, IT IS HARD. And he said that everybody can pack their stuff in their garage, yeah, what a moron, that I think can't even draw C chord.
Another guy, the talk lover, that always say that "I'm a ....." I won't publish, too straight forward for you reader. What I'm trying to say here is, human arrogance is the sign of imbeciles. Do you know why? This is earth, please, you have to prove yourself everyday, it was such a shallow statement to make people buy what are you saying, again, imbecile. You're not stepping out of your door and saying "I'm a trainer (oops)", or "I'm a doctor", or "I'm a professor" and you expect to make people look high for you. Put your hand on your chest and be honest to the world, it's not your title that makes you who you are, IT'S YOURSELF MOROON! It's what have you done for others, it's what you have given to the rest of your team.
I know this is not easy, we always want people look high to ourselves, this is normal. Especially for man. However, that is not the way to make it, prove yourself, in every aspect of life, it's called "far transfer" (Dr. Mohan term) or "competency fluidity" (mine), which means the compentencies that make you an expert in your field are supposed to be able to generate more expert behaviors on the other field of your life. I have to admit, sometimes I did it too, and at least i want to press it down, not to show my imbeciles off to the people.
Lucky, none of my member are like those two guys. I'll be sooo depressed to deal with these kind of people. I have no patience to spend my time listening bullshit and arrogance. just like Alexander Pope said "Sure of their qualities and demanding praise, more go to ruined fortunes than are raised."
Owh, the last thing, I don't believe in internal or external locus of control. All you do, are to make yourself deserve to the luckiness that shared on earth and every part of the world.
Thanks,
Niqi.
Senin, 03 Mei 2010
CIMB Malaysia's problem
Hiiiii N, long time no see.
I've been having a lot great time, and a lil bit bad time.
This is one of the bad, just recently happened.
Approximately two weeks ago, I logged in to my CIMB internet account to reload my phone credit, I used my favorite number which is my number for sure. It didn't work. I didn't complain yet since I got a lot work to do in the office (Leaderonomics has been a greaat office).
Today, I went there, sacrificing my office time to take care of everything, my money suddenly arise, probably because of my paycheck, but it didn't printed on the transaction, lame 1. Lame 2 is last night, a couple dozens time I tried to reload my phone credit, again, it didn't work. Lame 3, I tried to log in at the CIMB's office, I forgot my password, and they made it difficult for me to get another password. I have to call, reset my ePIN, and redo all the internet banking registration again, please!
Suggestion 1: please fix the internet system, it's likely to be failed at night, C'MON, it's digital time where everything is automated, and the system doesn't have to follow your working hour, PLEASE!
Suggestion two: give me back my money, and I went there, and they asked me to make a phone call, TO THEIR PLACE, WTF?!
Suggestion three: Please, make everything easy for the customer, why don't you just send me a text of my password, or email me the password, A LOT EASIER!
Owh, and the last thing, please provide internet connection for customer to fix their own problem. Don't be to skeptical about they using your connection to facebooking.
A lot of good things happened, other than this problems. However, please fix this.
Thanks a lot for everybody who read this.
I've been having a lot great time, and a lil bit bad time.
This is one of the bad, just recently happened.
Approximately two weeks ago, I logged in to my CIMB internet account to reload my phone credit, I used my favorite number which is my number for sure. It didn't work. I didn't complain yet since I got a lot work to do in the office (Leaderonomics has been a greaat office).
Today, I went there, sacrificing my office time to take care of everything, my money suddenly arise, probably because of my paycheck, but it didn't printed on the transaction, lame 1. Lame 2 is last night, a couple dozens time I tried to reload my phone credit, again, it didn't work. Lame 3, I tried to log in at the CIMB's office, I forgot my password, and they made it difficult for me to get another password. I have to call, reset my ePIN, and redo all the internet banking registration again, please!
Suggestion 1: please fix the internet system, it's likely to be failed at night, C'MON, it's digital time where everything is automated, and the system doesn't have to follow your working hour, PLEASE!
Suggestion two: give me back my money, and I went there, and they asked me to make a phone call, TO THEIR PLACE, WTF?!
Suggestion three: Please, make everything easy for the customer, why don't you just send me a text of my password, or email me the password, A LOT EASIER!
Owh, and the last thing, please provide internet connection for customer to fix their own problem. Don't be to skeptical about they using your connection to facebooking.
A lot of good things happened, other than this problems. However, please fix this.
Thanks a lot for everybody who read this.
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