Delayed gratification and anomaly of love

Law of delayed gratification

We want to be the best in this life. We want to be someone that counts, respected, have a dignity and pride, and stand proud in the middle of the croud of what we’re doing in this life. Some people gained that through money, some people through power, and other through their profound mind.

Despite of that, there are still so many bunch of people are stuck and become a burden ofsomeone else. The leaners.

This is the fallacies that happening all around the world. The cases like drugs addiction, sex addiction, robbery, greeds, political affair, divorce, or even eating disorder whatever form it takes are the forms of the existence of both laws. Let me take us to the mundane cases, eating too much, laying down on your sofa in front of TV while you have an assignment, your boss angry at you as you fall behind the deadline, or any case that you stay on your comfort zone and not doing anything productive for your life. Have you?

We don’t dicipline ourselves as we think we are.

First law, delayed of gratification. Picture this following scene in your head, you eat too much, you’re stomach stuffed and you feel that is no other dish will satisfy you more, the same scene works if you eat the same food everyday, eventhough it might felt delicious at the first time, no matter how fancy it was, you’ll try to find another type of food. Or maybe this, You have a dozen of shirt on your closet, and all of them are red, eventhough you’re a freaky fan of red, there’s always a need for variation in your life. Uncertainty, variation, surprise are needed in our life, if its bad it’s called problem then.

What is this then, this is the law of delayed gratification. The more you delay what you deserve to get, the more you struggle for earn the respect of it, the more satisfaction you will get. This has a connection with the law of value also. The more scarce the thing, the more you appreciate it. The more you know you will be able to get it in some high level of hurdle, the more you want it, and the more you’ll appreciate the result and be grateful for it. However self efficacy is still there.

High intensity, in a short period of time, proven to be more satisfying.

Unfortunately, in some level, people are satisfied with the short term of satisfaction and simply don’t understand this law. Their vision are blocked, they wanna live this day as the last day of their life, in a bad way for sure. As I said before, drugs addiction, sex addiction, new clothes every day, or any other form that will satisfy or basic needs in a short term are clogging our ways to self improvement and actualization.

Let us depict the opposite way. What about the pain, hurt, and dissatisfaction instead of amount of reward? As Dr. Dan Ariely said, He has done some research that proves people tend to receive less intensity of pain in longer perios of time, instead of high intensity in a short period, which is supposed to be work on the self gratification.

Fasting in some religion are the obligation, since they know at the end they will get the gratification and satisfaction of it, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Tattoing and piercing for some people are the source of satisfaction, the feeling that the pain is the thrill of self-change, the feeling of control of their own body. Learning takes a lot of amount of energy. Body building takes a huge amount of hurts of change. Every technical, mental, and cognitive expertise takes a commitment of struggle and pain bearer to grasp it.

Then, how do we apply it? As every religion said, be patient, keep struggling, stay on your gut, these may be sounds corny, and it’s true. The ability to bear the pain, to delay the gratification for the greater good are worth for the satisfaction we will get. Find your goal, search for the map (google geeks!) and DO IT!!! MAKE A DECISION ON YOUR OWN LIFE, DON’T LET OTHERS!

Love is an anomaly, no matter how hurt it before, we know that we need some more. No matter how satisfying we have now, we still need some more, high intensity, high amount of time, at least that what I feel. Thanks to Pramadhani Reihan Tuasikal.